A twenty-something girl's take on the world.

Too old to know better & too young to give a damn.

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A little more kindness, a little less judgment #CoffeeTalk

32cf89aa5ab065cee80514ad99e83893I read a quote last night and it really struck me.

“None of us like judgmental people. But we are all, to a certain extent, judgmental people. After all, one must be judgmental to even judge others as judgmental.”

It’s a really interesting way to put it. Truthfully, I had to read it back to myself about three times before I understood (but that was probably just the wine).

I don’t consider myself to be a judgmental person. On the contrary, I’m that person who’s heart aches for those that are constantly judged and belittled.

Everyone is so judgmental and I can’t begin to understand, nor explain why.

The way I see it is, we are all flawed and we really must find a way to be patient with the imperfections of others. Everyone you meet will be slightly imperfect and that’s completely ok, because perfection is both unrealistic and unattainable. Sometimes, the smallest defect turns out to be someone’s most unique feature.

We are all human. You shouldn’t have to apologize for your flaws. You shouldn’t have to justify your mistakes or your past. As long as your growing and learning, just live to your own expectations.

Passing judgment on someone else doesn’t define them as a person, but rather defines you. I don’t care about your screwed up past, I don’t care if you have face tattoos or 20 piercings, I don’t care if you have a lot of money or don’t, I am in no place to judge and neither is anyone else. Humans by nature are not perfect and imperfections are what makes the world beautiful. 

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Perfectionist to the point of insanity.

Why is it a natural instinct for we as humans to harp on the bad instead of boast about the good?

No matter how much good I do in this world, I always feel as if nothing is ever quite enough – it’s a constant battle. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not chronologically unhappy or in any way shape or form a negative soul. On the contrary, I’m full of life and good vibes. But day after day, I try to be a perfectionist & the thirst is real.

I’ve said it before – perfect doesn’t exist. So, then why am I harping? Why is self-satisfaction non-achievable?

I know I’m not alone – there are people reading this, thinking “hey, that’s me.”

I took the liberty of coming up with five golden ways to ease the mind of my fellow perfectionists (for this has recently helped me):

  1. Don’t set too high of standards for yourself or for others – the bigger the standards, the bigger the letdowns. 
  2. Set realistic & achievable goals – if you set goals you know you’re not going to reach, chances are, you mentally will stop yourself from trying. 
  3. It’s important to reflect on our everyday failures and mistakes – never let them define you as a person.
  4. Expect to be judged and understand you’re going to have haters & critics in life, but take what they have to say with a grain of salt… build upon it and move forward – burry your haters with a smile.
  5. Recognize the beauty in imperfection – do what you can, with what you have.

“Too many people spend too much time trying to perfect something before they actually do it. Instead of waiting for perfection, run with what you’ve got & fix it as you go.”

Stop beating yourself up – we are all a work in progress.


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Perfection is overrated.

Why is it that people feel the need to step on toes and put others down on their way to the “top”? Its’s actually sad (like die alone with a bunch of cats sad.)

Don’t let anyone belittle you. Everyone has a purpose in life & everyone is special in their own quirky & significant ways. Not a single soul is perfect – and really, lets face it, what fun would perfect be anyway? Flaws are beautiful, embrace them. Be strong, believe in yourself and don’t fall for anything. Never take no for an answer. Haters gon’ hate.

“Don’t allow people with no purpose to distract you away from yours. Some people just don’t deserve the opportunity to faze you or the power to make you mad. You will get it wrong at times so expect to be judged, expect to be doubted, expect to be talked about; but understand that your mission is greater than your mistakes. Don’t waste valuable time trying to prove yourself to people. Accept where you’ve been, understand where you are, and focus on where you are going.”

– Rob Hill Sr.